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CEO, HostAnalytics,  a leader in cloud-based enterprise performance management (EPM).   Previously Dave was SVP/GM of Service Cloud at Salesforce ,  CEO at MarkLogic and CMO at Business Objects for nearly a decade as it grew from $30M to over $1B.  See Dave's disclaimers at Kellblog.

One response to “Write Actionable Emails! (aka, If You’re Going to Make a Proposal, Make One!)”

  1. Tom Short

    If you want to avoid vagueness, scan your draft email for words like “this” or “that”, and when you see one, ask yourself how easily you could answer the question, “What?”

    The last sentence of the original email reads:
    “The rep is OK because he is being paid well on the rest of the $500K deal, but I worry that the sales managers and sales consultants who also get paid on new ARR bookings won’t get 100% of their payout if we don’t pay them on this – can we please do that?”

    It contains both a ‘this’ and a ‘that’. By simply replacing both of these with what you are intending, you will have gone a long way toward making a concrete proposal.